Oreos, Cheetos, Twinkies, Doritos: Home Baking as Rebellion Against Industrial Food

In 2013, home cooking is a radical act that empowers Americans to bypass the near-total control over the U.S. food supply of about twenty industrial food mega-corporations.  

Michael Pollan, famed journalist of Big Food, observes in New York magazine's April 2013 issue:

"... one of the most striking things I’ve learned is that all traditional food cultures keep populations healthy no matter what they are... The great irony is that now our civilization has managed to construct a new food culture that reliably makes people sick. It’s the first time in history...

 "But the collapse of home cooking is limiting for the food movement. As I watched this local agriculture movement get started, I realized that the farmers’-market movement was only going to get so far if people refused to cook."

Home baking, in particular, is personal rebellion.... creative, craftsy, delicious rebellion... against the hundreds of invisible chemicals, preservatives, cheap fillers, additives, emulsifiers, and artificial colors and flavors gunking up otherwise scrumptious delectables.

That doesn't mean, though, that you need resort to your grandmother's cherished baking cookbooks.  (See above from my mid-20th century cookbook collection, "Ann Pillsbury's Baking Book," which was near-revolutionary when published in 1950 with "more than 400... rolls, cakes, cookies. and pies.") 

Grandmother's baking was comforting and delicious beyond mere words, of course, but her recipes were complex, and a bit too fussy and old-fashioned for most 2013 home bakers.

A brand-new book that I'm crazy about is "Classic Snacks Made from Scratch: 70 Homemade Versions of Your Favorite Brand-Name Treats"by Casey Barber, a recipe developer and food writer.

Using good-quality ingredients and absolutely no additives or preservatives, this fun book enables all to bake better-quality, equally yummy versions of...

• Oreos
• Mint Millanos
• Animal crackers
• Twinkies
• Wheat Thins
• Peeps
• Cracker Jacks
• McDonald's apple pie
• Pop Tarts
• Cheetos
• Goldfish
• BBQ potato chips

....and, believe it or not, Cool Ranch Doritos.

No, none of these snack vices will be approved by stiff-necked nutritionists.  

But if you or yours have to have it... and we all do now and then... reject the cheaper, chemical-sodden ingredients used by greedy industrial food mega-corporations.  

Join the rebellion by returning to your grandmother's ritual of baking at home.  She'd be so pleased! 

Industrial Twinkies, Ding Dongs Won't Be Gone Long, But Why Care?

Twinkies won't be gone long from U.S. grocery shelves. Neither will Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, Suzy O's, Honey Buns, chocolate Cup Cakes with white squiggles, "fruit" and pudding pies, donettes, or my childhood favorite, Sno Balls (chocolate cakes filled with vanilla cream, covered with marshmallow, sprinkled with "coconut").

Purity-white, near-texture-free Wonder Bread won't be  missing long from American homes, either. 

After two bankruptcies in nine years, Hostess has closed its doors. And shut off the spigot of its industrial bakery snacks, even though nearly 36 million packages of Twinkies were sold in 2011. 

I guarantee that some clever entrepreneur will swiftly snap-up rights to the brand names, trademarks, and formulas for these industrial food products.  The gooey, chemical-oozing goodies will be remarketed as nostalgia products, and marked up to radically higher retail prices... as is wont for all baby-boomer memorabilia. 

No, consumers won 't have to hanker long for their next Twinkie fix. Mark my words. 

Until then, why not try a better version of Hostess industrial snacks? Bakery goods created with real food ingredients such as:

• fresh milk and cream, 
• real eggs and butter, 
• organic flours, and 
• natural ingredients such as vanilla bean, fresh fruits, and fine chocolates.

Lusher delicacies made without preservatives, chemicals, additives, fillers, and artificial flavors and colors. 

Local bakeries around the country are delighting in offering better versions of Hostess products, including Cake Monkey Bakery here in Los Angeles, which offers online ordering for its (unbelievably!) scrumptious concoctions. (Click HERE for Cake Monkey ordering info.)

And recipes abound to bake or customize your own Twinkies, Ding Dongs, Ho Hos and other snacks. 

• Twinkies recipe (via Top Secret Recipes)
• Homemade Twinkies (via New York Times)
• Homemade Ding Dongs (via A Cozy Kitchen)
• Homemade Ho-Hos (via The Food Network)
• Homemade Sno Balls (via Serious Eats)

After all, consider the industrial alternative. Hostess-manufactured Twinkies contain 37 ingredients, including: 

"High Fructose Corn Cyrup, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable and/or Animal Shortening, Soy Protein Isolate, Calcium and Sodium Caseinate, Salt, Mono and Diglycerides, Polysorbate 60, Soy Lecithin, Soy Flour, Cornstarch, Cellulose Gum, and Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate." 

The Twinkies ingredients list gets grotesquely worse with closer scrutiny. If you can stomach the grisly industrial food truth, I suggest you read Looking Inside the Twinkie at the New York Times. 

So no, Twinkies won't be gone long from U.S. grocery shelves. Neither will Ding Dongs, Ho Hos, Suzy O's, Honey Buns, chocolate Cup Cakes with white squiggles, "fruit" and pudding pies, donettes, or Sno Balls. 

But why in the world would you miss them?

Dissecting Wendy's Baconator Burger at International Bacon Day

To mark International Bacon Day, September 18th, Wendy's exuded via email this week:

"Celebrate International Bacon Day with the spokescheeseburger for bacon, Wendy's Baconator. And to make things extra festive, Wendy's is kicking things off with our new collection of bacon-themed desktop, mobile and tablet wallpapers. Download one now!

"... check out the all-new Baconator fan page on Facebook. Who better to recognize bacon greatness than the Wendy's Baconator with its six strips of Applewood Smoked Bacon?"

Never one to miss a sacred, food-related holiday,  I thought I'd learn more about what one enthusiast dubbed "the tastiest sandwich known to man."   After all, the vibrant, healthy actors in Wendy's commercials make savoring the Baconator seem like a hoot-and-a-half to snack on (up to midnight!):



Ingredients of Wendy International's profitable pride and U.S. fast-food joy, the Baconator Double, are:

• Two quarter pound beef patties (seasoned with salt)
• Six slices of bacon (cured with  water, salt, sugar, sodium phosphates, sodium erythorbate, sodium nitrite)
• A "premium buttered, toasted" white bread bun 
• Two slices of American cheese (includes sodium citrate, salt, sodium phosphate, artificial color)
• Mayonnaise (includes high fructose corn syrup, distilled vinegar, salt, calcium disodium EDTA)
• Catsup (includes high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, salt)

The white-bread bun boasts a long, long list of chemical mystery ingredients. Optionals include the healthier stuff: tomato, lettuce, red onion, and crinkle-cut pickles (preserved in salt, vinegar, lactic acid, sodium benzoate, natural flavors, polysorbate 80). 

Nutritional count for Wendy's Baconator Double is:

• 970 calories (more than two deep-fried Twinkies)
• 570 calories from fat
• 210 mgs of cholestrol (equal to four cups of ice cream)
• 40 grams of carbs
• 2,020 mgs of sodium, which is salt (more than two large tubs of popcorn at Regal movie theaters) 

Hmmmm..... never mind! 

It's well-known that I love scrumptious food. And I love a celebration... any fun, life-affirming celebration.   But I'd also like to live a long, healthy life. 

Too many Baconators, and the only healthy result would be the fat corporate coffers of Wendy's International, Inc., parent company of Wendy's and Arby's, a modern industrial corporation that sold $3.4 billion of fast food in 2010. 

I think I'll mark International Bacon Day with a delicious strip or two of bacon on a salad, instead.

Twinkie Owner Bankruptcy: Good and Bad News for Fake Food Fans

Heartbreaking news for fake food aficionados: Hostess Brands, the maker of delectable, cream-a-licious Twinkies has filed for bankruptcy. Again. The second time since 2004.

The Wall Street Journal explains, "Sales of Hostess's signature Twinkies have recently declined a bit while the overall bakery snacks category has been about flat. Nearly 36 million packages of Twinkies were sold in the year ended Dec. 25, down almost 2% from a year earlier... Hostess also has had trouble attracting consumers who have migrated away from white bread to whole grains and other healthier foods." 

Another famed Hostess product is Wonder Bread, a malleable, snow-white bread first advertised in 1921 as a "wonder" that would not dry out when sliced. In the 1940s, Wonder Bread's baker "began adding vitamins and minerals to Wonder Bread as part of a government-sponsored program of enriching white bread which was notoriously deficient in vitamin and mineral content" per Wikipedia.

Twinkies are perhaps the iconic American snack fake food and secret junk-food vice.